Read Romans 1:24-32.
It can be a terrible thing to receive exactly what you want. God just might let you have it. And then what you thought it would be might not be anything close to what it turned out to be.
You thought it would just a simple fling, a bit of an escape and a worthwhile shot at pleasure. But it turned out to be something that made you feel dirty and was degrading to you both.
You imagined it being something adventurous and mysterious. However, once you were involved, it turned out to be something that only loaded you down with an increasing weight of embarrassment. No, that isn’t a string enough word – only “shame” will do.
You were looking for a bit a distraction and something “new.” Instead, what it broke your heart to discover was that now you feel like a ship adrift with an ever decreasing sense of direction and meaning. Now you find yourself doing things you would never have dreamed of doing before and, rather than feeling good about them, you’re sinking in a sea of worry and fear.
“… God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. … God gave them over to shameful lusts. … God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.” (Rom. 1:24,26,28 TNIV)
Fortunately, if God is what you want, God will be happy to let you have a relationship with him. And he is no disappointment.
Heavenly Father, I know you have my best interests at heart. Sometimes you give me what I think I want and do so precisely so you can work some obvious blessing of good through it. And yet, sometimes you give me what I want, knowing full well already that it’s not what I really want or need. In those times and situations, help me to be properly broken, not proud, and to come back to my senses and to my life’s first love – you. For I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.