Time for a golden oldie . . .
Gabriel came to the Lord and said “I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some problems and we need to do something about it. They’re constantly swinging on the pearly gates and my horn is missing. There’s BBQ sauce all over their robes, they’re wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos and you should just see how fast they drive their chariots! They simply refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean – there are watermelon seeds and BBQ rib bones all over the place. I tell you Lord, they’re a bit of a nuisance.”
The Lord said, “Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of God’s children, even those who were Texans. If you want to know about real problems, ring up Hell and ask for Satan. It will help you appreciate all the more those we have up here.”
So Gabriel did just that. The Devil answered the phone and said, “Hello? Good grief, hold on a minute!” The Devil returned to the phone, “O.K., I’m back. What can I do for you?” Gabriel replied, “I just want to know if you are having any kind of problems down there.”
The Devil said, “Hold on again! I’ve got to check on something.” After about five minutes the Devil returned to the phone, and being a bit out of breath, he asked, “Okay, I’m back now, but what was your question?” Gabriel started to ask yet once more, “What kind of problems are you having down there?,” but Satan interrupted him. “Man alive, I don’t believe this! Hold on a minute!”
This time the Devil was gone a full fifteen minutes. Finally, Satan returned, picked up the phone and said, “I’m sorry, Gabriel, I can’t talk to you right now. Those Texans have put out the main fire and those from Houston are trying to install air conditioning!”